According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) 20% of high school students will have to deal with death or abandonment in their life through the ages of 14 – 18. With the arrival of Grief Counseling to St. Benedict’s (SBP) students have been able to voice their issues to their peers forming a safe space within SBP, affectionately known as The Hive. Students have been meeting with John Rowe, the director of crisis intervention, every Wednesday and Thursday to talk with one another about their concerns and experiences. “Sometimes when people are grieving they think something is wrong with them. Nothing is wrong with them. It is a natural response to someone dying who you love. You are not broken. People who are grieving have a voice that needs to be heard,” stated Rowe.
Rowe has been working to help the students of St. Benedict’s cope with grief. “Here’s the interesting thing about grief. You can’t fix it because there’s nothing wrong with the person. They’re in pain because someone they loved died, so what we’re really trying to do is educate them what grief is and be there for them. That’s the only way you can help someone who is grieving. Just being present for them. To validate them, to hear them, to give them a voice,” emphasized Rowe. Rowe hopes to try to expand grief counseling with any member of The Hive being welcome to voice their difficulties when needed. Rowe believed there was a need within the community for a grief group, “You got a lot of people suffering and I wanted to be able to help,” he said. Rowe voiced how The St. Benedict’s community has always tended to the hearts of students and how crucial it is to be present in one’s time of suffering, “You can’t force anyone to get help, but what you can do is encourage them,” noted Rowe.
According to the National Education Association (NEA) grief can affect a student’s classroom behavior often disconnecting them from their work and lowering their proficiency in groups. Thanks to the grief counseling groups, Benedict’s students have an outlet and specific space to express to their brothers and sisters how they feel and the obstacles they are attempting to overcome with their grief.
Bruno Irureta-Goyena (UDII) and former member of grief counseling, expressed that Rowe’s method of counseling felt welcoming and connected personally with him going step by step when needed, “He doesn’t go off book. He goes off what people actually need: to recover. He’s able to use words to make you feel better about the situation.” Bruno also describes his time while in grief counseling as a very connected experience with him feeling like he was getting more out of this than he would normal counseling. He commented that the way grief counseling was run felt interesting, describing it as lively and fun in the beginning, but throughout the session it became more serious as conversations became more personal,
“His sessions run smoothly. You’re able to process step by step and week by week how you feel. Most importantly Mr. Rowe is more than willing to talk about anything or everything at any time,” noted Irueta-Goyena. Rowe wants to ensure anyone on the fence about going to grief counseling gives it a try, mentioning that grief is unique to every person, “…you can’t tell somebody how to do it. How someone grieves is very unique and individual to them.” stated Rowe. Through grief counseling Rowe has been able to learn more alongside students as he listens to all their experiences observing, “[I] learn from them as much as they learn from me.” Rowe’s goal for the grief counseling group is to become a peer-led group run by students. Talking to Irureta-Goyena, that reality doesn’t seem too far away, “I recommend it if you have lost a family member or friend… Mr. Rowe has been a huge help in being able to fully express [myself] and cope with…grief.”
To get connected with the St. Benedict’s Prep grief counseling group, email: [email protected].
